The Fail-safe Narcissist Detector

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Do you want a sure-fire test to see if you're involved in a "friendship" with a narcissist? Okay, this is really simple. It is so simple that you may be tempted to dismiss it. Please don't.

I know this works from personal experience. I have seen this work consistently for others as well. It is the equivalent of smearing your body with blood and jumping into shark-infested waters....the sharks will bite. The dolphins, the fish, the sea turtles will not bite.

Ready?

Just say NO. Yup, that catchy little anti-drug phrase contains all the advice you need to detect who in your life is sucking your life blood from you. This works so consistently well that if I was selling this advice I'd offer you a money-back guarantee.

What should you say no to? It doesn't matter. If you have noticed that you are always saying yes to everyone in your life then chances are you've attracted at least one narcissist. The beauty of the "just say no" experiment is that you don't have to wait to say no to something really big, nor do you have to wait until you're fed up or exhausted to say it. In fact, it is better to "just say no" to something rather small. Innocuous. No big deal. Don't be angry when you say it, either. Just matter-of-fact. The disproportionate reaction you'll get from a narcissist will be shown up to be all the more disproportionate if the "no" is small and reasonable.

More advice on saying "no": Don't be apologetic. This is very important. If you are challenged, just stand your ground and do not offer up any explanations, justifications or appear to be in any way unsure of your right to say that little word.

Stand back and watch the fangs come out. If you are dealing with a narcissist they will not be able to take your "no" with any kind of reasonable equanimity. They will challenge you in some way. If you stand firm, they may bring out any number of nasty methods to dissuade you from your decision. Don't get sucked in. Just stand back, watch and marvel at the transformation of what you thought was a friend into a fiend.

If you say "no" to a reasonable, non-narcissitic person, they will accept it for what it is. They will not try to shame you. They will not try to convince you that you're a selfish person. They will accept your "no" with grace and your relationship will not be damaged.

The narcissist's reaction to "no" is never positive. And it doesn't matter if you've been in the relationship for years or you've just met this person....the test will work.

This is a highly effective dating tool, by the way. Keep getting tangled with narcissists in your dating life? Just say NO. Early on. Don't waste time. You're not getting any younger. Filter the vampires out before the second date.

"Just say no". So easy. So effective. Doesn't cost a thing.

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