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Showing posts from June, 2008

"Best Of" Posts on Narcissists Suck

As mentioned in the last post I'm taking a summer hiatus from blogging. For the benefit of those who are finding my blog in my absence I encourage you to read the posts in the archives. You can either read by month in the order I posted them, or check out the labels in column on the left of the front page for some idea of the various topics covered by posts. I have assembled here a short list of some of the popular pages of Narcissists Suck based on page hits. I will throw in a few of my choices as well. Your Narcissistic Mother Angry with a Narcissist? It Ain't Personal The High Price of Peace at Any Cost Narcissists Can't Be Rehabilitated Your Most Fundamental Right Two Models of Family (Part one of two) Decision Time (Part two) The Family Tyrant A Force of Nature An Accurate Measure of Mental Health ISN'T Lack of Anger The Last Straw Savior Complex and Refresher on the Savior Complex Disproportional Responses...

Taking a Summer Vacation/Hiatus

It has been settled here at home. It is past time for me to take a vacation. I have been blogging for just under two years now and written the equivalent of a large book. I'm tired and need a break. It has not been easy applying my noggin to the subject of human evil this steadily and intensively and this long. Summer has started, there is lots to do, life is short and I'm grabbing it by the ... uh, horns. I'm planning to take the whole summer off. My email is still available to courteous, intelligent inquiries. I will respond as I'm able. If you are signed up with Feedburner then you'll always know when the next post comes along without having the hit the front page. I plan to post a list of the most popular pages of Narcissists Suck in the next few days for the benefit of new peeps who may coast in from their Google searches. If you haven't already, I hope you'll take advantage of the wealth of information in the archives. There is no time stamp

Denied a Defense -- Part Two

Part one is here . I'm going to apologize at the outset of this post for its length. It seems there is nothing I can do about that. *sigh* I hope the story is told well enough that you're willing to wade to the finish. It feels like part two is the hardest part for me to tell. I'll see how it goes. Part of the difficulty is that I've lost some details. But the main point and general effects are clear to me so I proceed. The other part is that it isn't a memory I enjoy delving into. Narcissists suck...and so do the moonbats who won't oppose them. I will start by reiterating the point that I'm illustrating with this story. This two part story as well as the story about my sister's last successful hit at my heart are being told to help illustrate some of the principles Kathy Krajco laid out in her post " Self-Preservation Under Narcissistic Abuse ". The two incidents that I have and am outlining for you are to show some of the devastati

Something Uplifting

I bought a few new CDs this week. Two of them are of Libera, a boy's choir from London. "Angel Voices" and "Free". I listened to "Angel Voices" on Thursday and was completely uplifted and moved. I'm spreading the wealth, so to speak. Here is a link to YouTube of Libera performing "Sanctus". It is based on Pachelbel's Canon in D. The words of the song are in Latin. These CDs are my current favorites! Believe me, if you haven't heard Libera you haven't heard all that a boy's choir can do. The embedding code is disabled so I can't post the video here on my blog. Just follow this link . Enjoy!

Denied a Defense -- Part One

This story is the second one I want to tell in the context of " Self-preservation Under Narcissistic Abuse ". I have contemplated telling this story before as an illustration of spiritual abuse, but have steered away from it because it is a decidedly unpleasant memory for me. Maybe it is more unpleasant for me than remembering events involving my family because this story ended badly. I never got justice. I always felt that my reputation was forever marred by it. "Where do I go to get my reputation back?" Well, nowhere. I was glad when we were finally able to move away from the area in 2004. This event occurred around September of 2002, which if you're following the time line, was only two months before things started going to crap between me and my parents. We had moved to a rural farming area in the Northwest. We quickly became friends with another family from the church we started attending shortly after moving there. They are lovely people who we ar

Another Sister Story Otherwise Known As 'The Last Jab'

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It was September 2005. It was the last time my sister had enough access to my heart that she could make me cry. It had been many, many years since she had made me cry because it had been many years since I'd allowed myself to trust her at all. As I've mentioned in other posts, since late 2002 my sister and I had rekindled a relationship based on our discussions about our mother. This began because of my mother's bad behavior in my home on Thanksgiving 2002 which is what eventually precipitated my cutting off my mother. Sister and I were conversing more often on a subject we could both agree on. Mom. In September of 2005 I hadn't fully realized that I had let myself think I had an ally in my sister. I didn't realize to what extent I had let myself trust her enough that she could hurt me. This was yet another time when she took my trust and gleefully stomped on it all the while acting like she was doing no such thing. Here's how it went down. I had writt

On Psychopathy and Lying

After reading this post from LoveFraud.com I'm anxious to read the recommended book, Criminal Interrogation: A Modern Format for Interrogating Criminal Suspects Based on the Intellectual Approach , by Warren D. Holmes. From LoveFraud.com : Many Lovefraud readers have expressed the desire to know how to “out” a psychopath/sociopath. In this book Mr. Holmes gives his ideas about this subject. In his Chapter “How People Lie” he discusses the neurotic liar and compares lies told by these people to psychopathic liars. He has also listed and categorized what he calls “liar statements.” These are statements that signal someone is lying. In reading his list, I found that psychopaths/sociopaths use many of these. Here are his categories of liar statements: To read the list and the rest of the article go here .

Kathy Krajco: "Self-Preservation Under Narcissistic Abuse"

I'm putting this blog post of Kathy's up with the intention of following up in the days ahead with two experiences I had when being told I was wrong to defend myself. I had very visceral reactions to the 'moralizers' which I didn't clearly understand at the time. *********************************** Self-Preservation Under Narcissistic Abuse I don't see how it can be so difficult for many people to see what is so wrong about denying a person (or any sentient creature) the right to use any means necessary to protect and defend themselves from abuse. All it takes is a little thought. And empathy. Just put yourself in the victim's place and then ask yourself how it would feel to have to bend over for it. More important, ask yourself what that would MEAN. It's the MEANING in things that many people prefer to unsee. There are many issues over which reasonable people may disagree, but this is not one of them. There is a right and wrong answer here. Those who p

Refresher on the Savior Complex

I stumbled across a draft for a blog post that I started almost a year ago and never finished. I'll post it now cuz, hey, it still applies. It was only two paragraphs long when I last saved it, but there is something to be said for brevity. Especially around here where I mostly go on at great length. Hang on, I can probably manage to make this another long post. *grin* I rankle at the unconsciously grandiose thinking of many Christians that they must save the narcissist. Like their very presence is necessary in order for God to work some miracle in the narcissist. It is this kind of thinking that keeps narcissists fed and good people dancing with evil. Even though there is no biblical foundation for the belief that we must stay in relationships with evil people, Christians go on blithely with their savior complexes never conceptualizing that their savior complex is naive at best, enabling of evil at worst. It is like all the Scriptures which categorically command us to di