tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11997561956555385982012-01-17T19:06:16.992-08:00xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comBlogger2601100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-66613479087487903842012-01-17T19:06:00.000-08:002012-01-17T19:06:17.015-08:00

Amelia "Mia" Rivera has Wolf-Hirschhorn syndrome, a circuitous abiogenetic ataxia that causes brainy and concrete impairments, and her ancestors said that the 3-year-old will die if she does not get a branch in the abutting six months to a year. Mia's mother Chrissy Rivera has said the ancestors is accommodating to accord a alive organ, but Children's Hospital of Philadelphia has reportedly told

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-89532504349151909642011-11-15T19:07:00.001-08:002011-11-15T19:07:32.322-08:00

How to spot a dangerous man before engaging What is the book The man is dangerous? * 8 categories of dangerous men * Signs and Symptoms * Warning Signs * Checklists * Their behavior Sabotaging the owner * Why do women date a dangerous man * The profiles of women seeking It also includes recommended books and clinical references which may be more education on the issue of victimization.

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-56584730285538767432011-11-14T07:52:00.001-08:002011-11-14T07:52:36.349-08:00

howtospotadangerousman

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-81959069395821662952010-12-19T16:56:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.545-08:00

Because of the length of the following comment to the last post on this blog I'm presenting it on the front page.  The comments field is limited in terms of space so I'm putting it here.  I'm also putting it here because it deserves front and center placement as a professional opinion on the subject.  It provides some important historical background on the DSM that must be factored into this

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-34546093942674684332010-12-09T11:50:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.545-08:00

It seems there is some expectation that I have an opinion and need to weigh in on the latest news about NPD and four other personality disorders being removed from the upcoming DSM V since a few people have emailed me about this development. I haven't felt compelled to say anything because I've already stated what my position on psychiatry's labels is. In case you haven't read every word of

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-60297446917206998772010-01-05T10:29:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.546-08:00

I came across an older article by U.S. News & World Report that contains excerpts from the reporter's interview with one of the authors of the book, "The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement" and thought I'd highlight both the article and the book in a post. No, I haven't read the book as I only just found out about it, but I'm going to be buying it because it looks like a

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-62001985310621574212009-09-25T09:54:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:00:33.546-08:00

An interesting article appeared on the UK Daily Mail a few days ago. Erin Pizzey is stating a solemn truth that must be seriously considered by the world: that women are every bit as capable of cruelty and abuse as men are and that it is time to stop pretending that men have the corner on being abusers. She describes her childhood growing up with two abusive parents and describes her mother's

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-70629120246982022009-09-25T09:00:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:00:33.546-08:00

Update: I'm moving this post up so it'll show on the front page. It seems a good idea to have it front and center for those who are new to this blog and/or the subject of malignant narcissism.What is narcissism? Is it a simple case of being kinda self-involved? Is it just the human condition? This post will focus on the big picture of what this blog is about. Consider it orientation for people

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-68726402574843437582009-04-11T09:22:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:00:33.546-08:00

This is from the comments section written by a reader of this blog. I am posting it on the front page as a "review" of the content of this blog for those who are new here. What can you learn if you dive into the blog's archives? Here is one reader's description of what they've learned. I have taken the liberty of spelling out the abbreviations [in brackets] for the benefit of those not familiar

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-84576869361456040762009-04-06T21:12:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:00:33.546-08:00

...I'm moving on with the next phase of my life. I'm not going to be posting with any regularity going forward. There is much going on in my life and many new projects that I'm going to be undertaking which means there won't be time for me to continue blogging. I have many interests and plans in the months ahead. The blog will still be here. I haven't ruled out the possibility that I may

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-48597637236478169662009-03-31T10:57:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:00:33.546-08:00

The last on Kathy Krajco's list of eight red flags of narcissism is:Hostile Reaction to Attention or Credit Given OthersAnd then, of course, we get to the heart of malignant narcissism, Narcissistic Envy.You will notice that, invariably, when anyone is given recognition before the group, a narcissist immediately starts showing dislike for, or animosity toward, that person. Immediately he sets

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-88138139668901022862009-03-23T09:44:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:00:33.546-08:00

When it doesn't perplex you, or annoy the hell out of you, or make you cry, this next red flag provides some of the humor when dealing with narcissists. I'm talking here about the humor that makes you laugh at someone who is being ridiculous and stupid and is blissfully unaware of it.Extreme self-absorption is another red flag. Unless a narcissist is a "doting" narcissist who keeps a "star"

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-23423747621560614282009-03-13T09:40:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:00:33.547-08:00

We're up to number six of Kathy Krajco's list of eight red flags of narcissism from her book, What Makes Narcissists Tick, pg. 81:Tramples Privacy/Boundaries as a Control-FreakYet another red flag is a universal disrespect for other people's privacy, boundaries. This is a result of the narcissist viewing people as mere objects there for her sake to serve her needs and desires.I gave an example

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-64042453126036159042009-03-12T08:54:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:00:33.547-08:00

Personality Disorders: The Controllers, Abusers, Manipulators, and Users in RelationshipsBy Dr Joseph M Carver, PhD.I just finished reading this three part article and wanted to recommend it to you all. It is an excellent synopsis of personality disorders followed by descriptions of how each of these PD types behave relationally. The article contains some good practical advice as well. I am

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-74889148154928830972009-02-28T08:20:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.547-08:00

The next two red flags on Kathy Krajco's list of "Eight Red Flags of Narcissism" are brief in description. "History of Past Upheavals" says:If you know a narcissist's history, you will usually see a track of mysterious upheavals in his life. He suddenly up and moves to a different school or job in a different town every few years. That is, every time the good angels in his Pathological Space

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-43155390451873855112009-02-20T10:50:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.547-08:00

Every abuser, every narcissist, every psychopath, every rapist, arsonist, every sociopath is after one thing: power. Power over others. This is an outgrowth of the narcissistic need to have all attention focused on them. We already understand that attention is the drug that the narcissist pursues at every moment. This is the core motivation that moves them. There are natural branches that sprout

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-51418560269858882352009-02-10T08:52:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.547-08:00

Next on Kathy Krajco's list of eight red flags of narcissism is this one which you're all very aware of if you've been dealing with a narcissist, "vandalizes other's images". I'll reproduce the majority of Kathy's commentary on this red flag from her book, "What Makes Narcissists Tick" pages 76-78:Then there is the other side of the coin, which is an even more menacing sign of bad faith -- what

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-78746862181241150082009-02-02T14:10:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.547-08:00

I loosely follow my stats. If I see a bunch of hits coming from one site then I'll follow the link to see what the chatter is. In no less than four different forums in the last month the subject of whether or not the narcissist can be saved has been going on. Whenever this subject comes up rather a lot of heat is generated on both sides. Both sides have very personal reasons for fighting for

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-79902718889295933212009-01-23T10:40:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.548-08:00

I decided this week I have found a new tag line for my blog. It captures the essence of what I'm doing here:"It is much easier to make good men wise than to make bad men good." This quote is pulled from Henry Fielding's book, "Tom Jones" first published in 1749. With a little thought I'm sure you can see why this quote fits my blog's effort. I don't advocate here that we spend our time,

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-47205533275560700972009-01-20T12:35:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.548-08:00

A universal trait of malignant narcissists and every other version of evil person is their need to control you. Not themselves. You. This trait of the evil is so universal that you must put it in the red flag category.It is quite possible to not be a malignant narcissist and still find yourself trying to control other people. If you recognize that you can be controlling then it is time to rein

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-45197574094807131992009-01-11T10:30:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.548-08:00

This question was somewhat addressed by me in my post, They DO Have Empathy...Just Not for You. I mentioned that the narcissist has oodles and bunches of compassion (empathy) but only enough for themselves. You don't get any.The "Do They Have Feelings?" question is answered in the same way: Yes, they do, but only for themselves.In my experience with narcissists (which includes a larger circle

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-52639913343852064022009-01-05T11:40:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.548-08:00

As many of you likely know, Kathy Krajco compiled an excellent list of the "red flags of narcissism" in her book, "What Makes Narcissists Tick". I find myself wanting to reprint her list with the descriptions because they are so valuable for people trying to assess the level of malignancy of the person they're having to deal with. Perhaps I'll do that over time. What I'll do today, though, is

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-73264371996816215782009-01-05T11:35:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.548-08:00

Yes, I'm going to give you a gift. It is called LibriVox. I stumbled on this site a couple of months ago and have already derived many, many hours of pleasure from it.It is a site that is making available to audio all the books in the public domain. It is a volunteer effort. If you enjoy having books read to you via your Mp3 player then run to their catalog and download one! Not all the readers

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-82073873954912340272008-12-27T10:48:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.548-08:00

I just finished reading the book Fiend by Harold Schechter. It is the true story of the crimes and conviction of America's youngest serial killer, Jesse Pomeroy. He was a full blown narcissistic psychopath lust killer by the tender age of 14. Of course, these terms didn't exist back in 1874. He became known as the "boy fiend" thanks to the tabloid journalism of that era.What I want to bring to

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-80163274019479239832008-12-19T11:14:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.549-08:00

Maybe you remember Diane Downs, the woman who shot her three children killing one and permanently maiming the other two. I lived in Oregon back when she cold-bloodedly shot her own children execution style and pretended a "bushy-haired stranger" did it. The year was 1983. She has been in prison, minus one successful 10-day prison escape in 1987, for nearly 25 years. She is eligible for parole

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-73014049302235246222008-12-13T09:20:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.549-08:00

While Democrats and the news media are all working feverishly to get Gov. Blagojevich branded with the "insanity" label in order to discredit him and inoculate the Obama franchise from taint I fume over something else. The irresponsible reporting from the Chicago Sun-Times on speculation over Blago's possible NPD.Why would that bother me? I'll 'splain.First of all, the so-called professionals

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-82499837369982382482008-12-07T11:35:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.549-08:00

If you've done much research on malignant narcissism you've seen it stated that narcissists (and psychopaths) lack empathy. This is only partially true -- not because of what it states but because of what it omits. To say they lack empathy is erroneous because most will take that to mean the narcissist lacks empathy in any capacity. They are capable of empathy, but like everything else having

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-82219983643058935112008-11-29T10:05:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:00:33.549-08:00

The NPD illusion of superiority is a facet of a generalized disdain for reality. These individuals feel unconstrained by rules, customs, limits, and discipline. Their world is filled with self-fiction in which conflicts are dismissed, failures redeemed, and self-pride is effortlessly maintained. They easily devise plausible reasons to justify self-centered and inconsiderate behavior. Their

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-77919988143982294232008-11-23T09:05:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.734-08:00

Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous [overwhelming]; but who is able to stand before envy? Prov. 27:4And then, of course, we get to the heart of malignant narcissism, Narcissistic Envy."What Makes Narcissists Tick" by Kathy Krajco, pg. 46 in e-book.Their lack of gratitude is the natural result of their extreme covetousness ... All the other sins of the narcissist spring from this persistent

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-55458741554270289942008-11-19T09:40:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.734-08:00

So how to deal with narcissists during the holidays? The best and most simple answer is to fully disengage! I realize I sound repetitive but 'no contact' is always the best answer bar none to dealing with narcissists. They are poisonous no matter the season but most especially in the seasons of cheer and festivity. Whether the narcissist uses the holidays to grandstand or to poop on

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-21286588410123672302008-11-11T11:40:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.734-08:00

My head has been pulled way out of the subject matter of this blog lately so that is why posting has been minimal. It's just the way it is and there isn't much to be done about it. Consequently, I thought I'd rely on Kathy Krajco for some words for the wise taken from her book. ***************************There is an interesting point of religious doctrine on this that has been largely

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-87049113677739261242008-10-25T11:40:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.734-08:00

A question was asked of me in the comments section for my post, "The Perennial Question...Are Narcissists Evil?"Is it always necessary to view the N as "evil" in order to go no contact? I can see where recognizing evil is beneficial for the victim who is having trouble breaking away from the N. Are there cases of victims who successfully broke away not by defining the N as evil, but just by

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-279817454352826942008-10-13T10:15:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.734-08:00

A question was posed to me in the comments on the last post that I'll do my best to answer in this blog post.I was wondering Anna, if you could possibly discuss how you have moved on in respect to the effects of Narcissism. How do you find yourself relating to other people's bad behaviour, even if it isn't based in Narcissism?I am only asking because four years on from leaving a religious group

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-18715049689739423802008-10-08T08:35:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.735-08:00

A couple weeks ago when I was looking at various Vaknin statements I ran into, yet again, his argument that it is wrong to think of and describe narcissists as being evil. I saw that others make the same argument based on the (supposed) lack of intention to do evil absolving the narcissist from being evil. At the same time, these apologists for narcissists like to denigrate the intellect of

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-60168442412484660162008-09-24T10:55:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.735-08:00

In the comments section of the post on self-esteem vs. self-respect I made this statement,I have been witness to both. I have seen what were obviously real periods of self-loathing by Ns. I have also seen the theatrical versions. The "feel" of the fake version is quite different to the observant witness.I was asked to explain the difference between the faked self-loathing and the real

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-37830072728985578442008-09-23T11:00:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.735-08:00

Because of a thread in the comments on the last post I am segueing into today's topic. I am quoting from an article that concisely sums up much of what I was able to independently conclude from my own research years before having read this article. The article is simply a handy device to jump into the subject with. I am not going to attempt a post which includes documentation and sourcing

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-81930736735074605132008-09-16T11:10:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.735-08:00

While I was several weeks into my hiatus this summer a new reader of this blog posed a great question I couldn't resist making an effort at answering despite my being on vacation. Because the question was in the comment section of an old post I thought I would re-post it...and my response...here on the front page. I think it was substantive enough of an answer that it deserves front and center

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-216289152214606912008-09-12T10:13:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.735-08:00

I just stumbled across this article whose title I'm absolutely in love with:"How to Talk to a Narcissist...When Listening A Lot Makes "Conversation"This told me straight up that whatever followed was likely to be on target because the title of the article so nails an essential truth about dealing with narcissists. It makes me laugh. I have all kinds of mental pictures immediately flashing in my

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-73898712820900565612008-09-12T09:30:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.735-08:00

...it might be this song.Why I Lieby Liz PhairIf you ask me why I lie to youI can tell you I don't know myselfIts amazingly dishonestBut I'd have to recognize itAs part of myselfStraighten upWhy can't you straighten upI've heard you tell me thisSo many timesIt doesn't even stickI get it all the timeI get it all the timeYou know I love to makeA joke of itAnd if you ask me why I hurt youI don't

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-46531410354335597262008-09-09T08:40:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.736-08:00

The character is revealed by the works, not by occasional good deeds and occasional misdeeds, but by the tendency of the habitual words and acts. EG White, Signs of the Times, 1884.Some wisdom has been around for a very, very long time. What is unfortunate is how often the wisdom of ages is lost, ignored or outright rejected. Take the words above by a Christian writer written 124 years ago.

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-11811314390141488302008-09-02T07:50:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.736-08:00

The debate will likely continue ad infinitum: are narcissists the result of their own free will choices over time resulting in their becoming dangerous and evil, or are they victims of genetics and/or bad circumstances? The debate will likely never conclude because there will always be a large number of people who refuse to acknowledge the reality of volitional human evil.The position I've taken

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-58492052753499201752008-08-23T11:15:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.736-08:00

It's superstitiously considered bad form to speak ill of the dead. I say 'superstitiously' because people act like the dead will have their revenge. Maybe it is just that people think it makes the person who does speak ill of the dead look bad themselves. That is true only if by speaking ill they are lying. But when someone dares to speak the truth of the dead, and that truth reflects poorly

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-87553863623136328772008-08-22T13:00:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.736-08:00

I am convinced that part of becoming maturely healthy in heart and mind is learning to be copacetic with being alone. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. The two are not necessarily the same. Let me wax wordy to try to make this point. I'll likely end up making other points along the way, and with some luck I might even make some good ones. Does this post mean I've

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-61707415051982959652008-08-22T11:00:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.736-08:00

First, make sure it is in the middle of the day. You're not truly relaxing unless your slacking off on a perfect summer day.Next, find that unmade bed. You know the one...the bed you didn't make because you were relaxing earlier in the day.Stretch out in your favorite position, like this:Okay. This last part is really important. Ignore the idiot with the camera and calmly close your eyes

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-85022958779133220982008-06-24T08:45:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.737-08:00

As mentioned in the last post I'm taking a summer hiatus from blogging. For the benefit of those who are finding my blog in my absence I encourage you to read the posts in the archives. You can either read by month in the order I posted them, or check out the labels in column on the left of the front page for some idea of the various topics covered by posts.I have assembled here a short list of

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-62276300708018631482008-06-22T07:30:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.737-08:00

It has been settled here at home. It is past time for me to take a vacation. I have been blogging for just under two years now and written the equivalent of a large book. I'm tired and need a break. It has not been easy applying my noggin to the subject of human evil this steadily and intensively and this long. Summer has started, there is lots to do, life is short and I'm grabbing it by the

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-79771159078348269132008-06-17T09:15:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.737-08:00

Part one is here. I'm going to apologize at the outset of this post for its length. It seems there is nothing I can do about that. *sigh* I hope the story is told well enough that you're willing to wade to the finish.It feels like part two is the hardest part for me to tell. I'll see how it goes. Part of the difficulty is that I've lost some details. But the main point and general effects

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-64590256631785061032008-06-14T08:13:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.737-08:00

I bought a few new CDs this week. Two of them are of Libera, a boy's choir from London. "Angel Voices" and "Free". I listened to "Angel Voices" on Thursday and was completely uplifted and moved. I'm spreading the wealth, so to speak. Here is a link to YouTube of Libera performing "Sanctus". It is based on Pachelbel's Canon in D. The words of the song are in Latin. These CDs are my current

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-27680340330977589482008-06-13T11:00:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.737-08:00

This story is the second one I want to tell in the context of "Self-preservation Under Narcissistic Abuse". I have contemplated telling this story before as an illustration of spiritual abuse, but have steered away from it because it is a decidedly unpleasant memory for me. Maybe it is more unpleasant for me than remembering events involving my family because this story ended badly. I never

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-30865496989376474702008-06-10T08:38:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.737-08:00

It was September 2005. It was the last time my sister had enough access to my heart that she could make me cry. It had been many, many years since she had made me cry because it had been many years since I'd allowed myself to trust her at all. As I've mentioned in other posts, since late 2002 my sister and I had rekindled a relationship based on our discussions about our mother. This began

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-37933483142066778942008-06-07T10:58:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.738-08:00

After reading this post from LoveFraud.com I'm anxious to read the recommended book, Criminal Interrogation: A Modern Format for Interrogating Criminal Suspects Based on the Intellectual Approach, by Warren D. Holmes.From LoveFraud.com:Many Lovefraud readers have expressed the desire to know how to “out” a psychopath/sociopath. In this book Mr. Holmes gives his ideas about this subject. In his

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-24336051703423365272008-06-06T16:50:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.738-08:00

I'm putting this blog post of Kathy's up with the intention of following up in the days ahead with two experiences I had when being told I was wrong to defend myself. I had very visceral reactions to the 'moralizers' which I didn't clearly understand at the time. ***********************************Self-Preservation Under Narcissistic AbuseI don't see how it can be so difficult for many people to

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-79371134074223578902008-06-03T09:41:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.738-08:00

I stumbled across a draft for a blog post that I started almost a year ago and never finished. I'll post it now cuz, hey, it still applies. It was only two paragraphs long when I last saved it, but there is something to be said for brevity. Especially around here where I mostly go on at great length. Hang on, I can probably manage to make this another long post. *grin*I rankle at the

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-41631821727671845852008-05-30T09:55:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.738-08:00

On my May 21st post I was posed this question by NNL:Question for you with respect to something you brought up:" 'Your mother is dying and in the hospital. She wants to see you.'This is something I haven't really allowed myself to think about too much yet. But as our parents age, this is an issue that we are going to have to contend with.You intimated that you still would remain no contact. This

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-62901474226438788592008-05-29T09:25:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.738-08:00

I just received the FedEx delivery of Kathy Krajco's death certificate. I will share the relevant details.The date she was pronounced dead was May 9, 2008. The certificate indicates her body "was found 24 or more hours after death" in her own home. The coroner certifies that, in their opinion, her death was due to natural causes. The box for indicating the "actual or estimated date of death"

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-62909881429839456362008-05-25T08:48:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.738-08:00

Blog post originally published on Tuesday, December 06, 2005 at "What Makes Narcissists Tick". I will include the comments for this post as there is good content there as well.******************************************* Another thing that warps our picture of NPD is double standards that are the fruit of stereotypes and sloppy thinking:Women are nicer than men and therefore less likely to be

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-3474578395010174632008-05-23T08:57:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.739-08:00

Here is the final episode of the sister drama. I sent this Tue, 20 May 2008 12:53:54 my time:D,In your May 10 email you said,"I know I have always stepped unaware on your sensitive spots."My last email of 2006 and the one I sent you last week were not efforts to induce you to apologize for past misdeeds; it was an effort to give you some clue as to why you are unsafe for me and my family to be

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-30325090564455766382008-05-22T18:30:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.739-08:00

I am sure that the faithful readers of Kathy Krajco's blog received the terribly sad news of her unexpected death on May 9, 2008. It was brought to my attention on May 14th by one of the readers of both my and Kathy's blog. Those of us who know Kathy's work feel the loss very deeply. She has been a clear, compassionate voice for those abused by malignant narcissists. She cut no quarter for

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-34788472574082502302008-05-21T11:00:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.739-08:00

One of the first thoughts I had when I read this newest email was, "why didn't she send me this email a week ago?" Her email below would have had a very different effect on me if I hadn't been treated to her email of May 10th which stands in sharp contrast. Two letters. Two very different realities. They can't both be reality because they are so fundamentally different. Thankfully, they

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-60507254286884909172008-05-20T17:44:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.739-08:00

Here is an excerpt from the article, "The Three Rs of Accountability", at Luke 17:3 Ministries. Many offenders are fond of saying, “But I didn’t mean it that way” or “I never meant for that to happen” . BUT INTENT IS NOT THE ISSUE. RESULTS ARE......Everybody makes mistakes. Where most of us begin to lose our patience is with those who never LEARN from their “mistakes”- this tells us that these

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-21258415688914731602008-05-19T14:00:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.739-08:00

I am finding myself having a good time at this web page. It is at Luke 17:3 Ministries. I'm actually looking for something else, but this is too good not to show you. It is the essay titled, "Selective Amnesia". Ha. You can see why I went there given recent events. Here are a few pull quotes:When your abuser claims to have no idea what he did wrong, HE IS LYING. He knows perfectly well what

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-47434361287900607772008-05-19T08:55:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.739-08:00

...but another email from sister dearest.It was a shock. Shocking because she responded so quickly. I had hoped I had bought myself another extended silence. I found it at 1:00 a.m. Sunday. Reading it was not conducive to getting to bed. No sleep until 2:30 a.m. Why was I checking my email at 1:00 a.m.? Hubby and I had just finished cleaning up the kitchen after our family guests left. I

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-73798024610355623512008-05-16T09:40:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.740-08:00

Here's how I'm going to do this. My email-to-sister post is going under an old date so as to keep it off the front page. This is how I'm dealing with its length. Since Blogger doesn't have the "below the fold" feature that would allow me to truncate the post, this is how I'm doing it. The five most recent posts are what show up on the front page of my blog. Because new people are coming here

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-87656980749523673392008-05-16T08:30:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.740-08:00

This was sent to my sister last night, May 15, 2008 @ 17:20 her time.Those of you who have read many to most of my old posts will recognize I took some (small) pieces of three posts and put them in this email to my sister. I borrowed a concept from my "The Last Straw" post. I also took a paragraph from near the end of my dissection of sister's non-apology letter of April 2006. A dissection she

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-22616645174607915262008-05-15T15:37:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.740-08:00

Click here for pic of me. I am posting it today because it captures my present mood. I'm hiding this in the archives cuz I don't want it showing up on the front page. I won't be able to handle the shock of seeing myself in living color when I go to my blog. Feel free to not comment. I promised some weeks ago I'd put up a picture of myself at some point. I'm a woman of my word. [Icon credit]

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-4174234374670901712008-05-15T12:07:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.740-08:00

I have composed my reply to my sister's latest email. Haven't hit the 'send' button yet; I'm going to sometime today, I think. My email is loooooong. The end result of many hours of labor.*sigh*My husband said last night how my email is too long to post on my blog because no one will read it. "They'll be overwhelmed." sez he. I protested. I think at least some of you will read it. Prove me

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-9457486690108730412008-05-12T10:00:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.740-08:00

In the comments on my post of April 27, 2008 a line of discussion developed on the pros and cons of writing letters, especially kiss-off letters, to the narcissist in your life. Some say yes...some say no.I say yes and no. It depends. Maybe.You may or may not have noticed my lack of dogmatism on this point if you have read much here. That is because it really depends on circumstances and

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-4355145643604745302008-05-11T10:28:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.740-08:00

I have been mulling over at least a couple topics to blog on over the last week. Haven't gotten to the point of putting the words down. Now I've been subjected to a mind flush. What happened? Late last night I checked my email just before heading off to bed and found a most unwelcome sight. An email from my sister.Good grief.She sends it on the eve of Mother's Day and doesn't even

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-45057790052371013652008-05-05T13:15:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.741-08:00

I was asked in the comments of the last post for a list of kick-ass movies as a potential source of self-help therapy for those days you want to see a bad guy get hammered. I'll put a caveat emptor here. Everybody, do your own research on a movie. Imdb.com is a good place to do that. It's your own damn fault if you watch a movie and don't like it. Not mine. So don't complain to me if you

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-76607894372911644752008-05-04T10:10:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.741-08:00

It is terribly annoying to me when someone pretends to know my mind better than I do. Likely, the level of annoyance I feel when that happens is due to a heightened sensitivity borne of years of enduring this very thing. I took it uncomplainingly for much of my life. I would either submit to mother's or sister's analysis or quietly reject it without saying much of anything. It didn't do to

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-35594248523725295132008-04-27T10:02:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.741-08:00

It was around two years before my mother pulled the stunt that precipitated my decision to cut her out of my life. The year 2000 thereabouts. The process of my emotional distancing from her had embarked on its final stages in 1998 after an event where I was forced to fully acknowledge to myself that my mother was hopelessly chilish and selfish, controlling and sinisterly manipulative, a big,

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-36532550708050144722008-04-24T08:08:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.741-08:00

I just checked my Amazon Associates account and was amazed and humbled, and yes, a bit surprised to see so many of you buying at Amazon through my site! Thanks to all of you who are clicking through my site I have made over $30 so far. Ya'll just pushed me into the 6.5% referral rate this morning when the 31st item was shipped. Probably the person most shocked is my husband. He predicted I

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-72480069888876539012008-04-23T11:02:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.741-08:00

From "Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers":She terrorized. All abusers use fear to control their victims, and your narcissistic mother used it ruthlessly to train you. Narcissists teach you to beware their wrath even when they aren’t present. The only alternative is constant placation. If you give her everything she wants all the time, you might be spared. If you don’t, the punishments will

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-77282113305049282582008-04-20T09:58:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.742-08:00

I think ya'll are ready for one more song to rock you the rest of the way through the weekend. I promise to not post another song for awhile, but I really think you're gonna get into this one. It is titled "Fighter". No, I'm not a big Christina Aguilera fan. She has an awesome voice, but a lot of her songs don't do it for me. This one kicks butt. I'm going to post the lyrics on this since

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-9765236283434373712008-04-18T13:39:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.742-08:00

JoDee Messina sold an album the day I heard "My Give a Damn's Busted". It so summed up my mood at that time as I was feeling that way about my sister...and mother.I'm feeling it today. Probably because of today's earlier post. It is a good feeling. A feeling of finally breaking free of something that had weighed me down for so long. The spunkiness of this song and how it celebrates breaking

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-47366495425682164972008-04-18T10:00:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.742-08:00

I need to put in a clear disclaimer at the outset of this post. I love motherhood. In fact, I am someone who thinks there is no more important job in the world than being a mother. It is my deep, sincere respect for the high office of motherhood that motivates me to highlight the fact that there are mothers out there who have more in common with a serial killer than with true motherhood.

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-4402364444306826202008-04-13T11:10:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.742-08:00

The pitty-pat of the approach of Mother's Day in the U.S. is even now discernible. A month away, I'm sure some of you are starting to feel the creeping dread rise up in your throat. Your stomach sinks; your heart squeezes in the vise-grip of expectations of family and society-at-large to bequeath honor on the dishonorable. At the other end of whatever I end up writing here today, I'll direct

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-39514332338988583022008-04-11T10:50:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.742-08:00

I was asked to revisit the comment that I parsed out in this post and make a more thorough job of it. The request came because I had glossed over a couple of paragraphs due to my boredom with the lame arguments therein. Because the request was coming from someone who found themselves disquieted by those glossed-over-by-me paragraphs I have found the motivation to finish the job. I don't want

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-76651995678660771812008-04-09T11:00:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.742-08:00

A comment on the last post has sparked my thinking. The comment introduced the idea that a ministerial work, or an effort designed to help others in some way, is somehow sullied when the worker offers others the chance to support the work.This idea of payment always contaminating a charitable effort is held by many the world around so I'll address it a bit here. Also, it is very likely that

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-67161647863915429182008-04-08T18:45:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.743-08:00

Okay, folks. I thought I'd try something new. I have signed up with Amazon so that any time you folks decide to buy something from Amazon I can get a piece of the action. I have a widget added in the sidebar. I have some books listed there along with my recommendations. If you click through the widget and then purchase something from Amazon they will send me a percentage of the sale. Even

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-1516138935980340502008-04-08T10:10:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.743-08:00

I wrote a post in February titled, "From Such Turn Away". If you want to get the full impact of what is to follow I hope you'll go back and re-read my post. It is the context within which the comment I'm going to address was made. It is important to see exactly what this person chose to ignore in order to make the statements he or she did.Assuming you've done your little homework assignment

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-9695184717424294242008-04-05T11:04:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.743-08:00

I want to examine a little further the narcissist appeaser otherwise identified in my last post as "The Peacemaker".When last describing the 'peacemaker' I put it in a religious context by identifying the N-appeaser as being a member of the Cult of Nice. This cult has doctrines and faith. It punishes and proscribes 'heretics'. The 'peacemaker' himself is a self-appointed priest. His god is the

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-37791737197880068112008-03-30T10:17:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.743-08:00

I have made reference several times to what I call the Cult of Nice. When referring to the Cult of Nice I have commented on how this 'cult' labels it a 'sin' or 'wrong' to hurt someone's feelings. Both Christians and secular types who've swallowed pop psychology seem to often subscribe to this belief. This anti-logic provides a lovely escape hatch for malignant narcissists because you can be

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-52753860438500118412008-03-21T12:15:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.743-08:00

I refer you from time to time back to the book, In Sheep's Clothing, because it is such a helpful little primer on how the aggressive, character-disordered people among us lead us by the nose to get what they want. Recognition of their tactics can go a long way toward helping us avoid the control and manipulation as it is happening. Mr. Simon presents what he calls two closely related tactics, '

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-79097000539428164042008-03-17T09:40:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.743-08:00

On Feb. 17, 2008 I posted this blog about being "Devalued and Thrown on the Junk Heap". In the comments on the 18th I described the cat and mouse game of the narcissist. This was because there was a discussion on my assertion that what the narcissist does to you isn't personal. I used the cat and mouse as a way to describe the perspective of the predator toward its prey.I mention the dates

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-85421587684792298702008-03-12T08:10:00.000-07:002011-11-15T19:02:45.744-08:00

If you've done much reading here on my blog you've perhaps noticed that I focus on the "what" not the "why" of malignant narcissism. In other words, I focus more on what they actually do than how they became the way they are.I am decidedly uninterested in the etiology of malignant narcissism. This is not because I'm an incurious person. This is because I recognize that we can never know to any

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-14930958504301969132008-03-06T08:56:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.744-08:00

Speaking of the 'man behind the curtain' in my last post, I thought I would elaborate a bit on my mother's inordinate interest in the movie "The Wizard of Oz". She refers to the story often and studies it like it is filled with subtle signs and cues of some grand conspiracy. For example, she finds great significance in the color green in the movie. (Emerald City and all.) I don't actually

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-8017001686399648502008-03-02T09:02:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.744-08:00

If I was required to come up with one adjective to describe the internal life of a malignant narcissist...ummmmm...I couldn't do it. I require two.Covetous and fearful--in that order.I want to focus more on the latter descriptor. Fear. It is the outgrowth of the former. Fear is so pervasive in the psyche of the narcissist that they do not see it. They call it other things; they certainly don't

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-42250902070559536902008-02-27T08:12:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.744-08:00

Probably one of the more shocking revelations I was confronted with when I started to see my mother with new eyes was how she is, in spirit, an anarchist. I didn't yet know about NPD, but I started to be able to discern the spirit of the anarchist as I began to look at her more objectively. The reason I could see her more objectively was because I was observing her words vs. actions as she

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-81572163636420349772008-02-23T13:08:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.744-08:00

This post is in response to Jordie's comment on the last post. As a preamble to this post I'd like to ask for the indulgence of my non-Christian readers. As difficult as you know it to be to extricate from a narcissist, especially a family narcissist, Christians are rendered much more susceptible to narcissist control because of the powerful clubs that misinformed Christianity hands over to

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-77610438231133107402008-02-22T13:41:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.744-08:00

"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-59523963229605660132008-02-17T09:20:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.745-08:00

Many of you have been baffled by the sudden devaluation you've experienced in your relationship with a narcissist. You had reason to believe you were important to them as they have been to you. You've been supportive, loving, taken the heat, hung in there--only to find yourself one day treated with inexplicable coldness, cruel disdain. What the hell happened?It will be helpful to ask a

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-87575046041903568502008-02-12T10:07:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.745-08:00

I was re-reading the account of Joseph's life in Genesis several nights ago. I saw something there I had never taken note of before. I'll try, as best I can, to distill it down to the part you might find helpful.The story of Joseph is a long one. It starts in Gen. 37. It jumps over chapter 38 and continues on from chapter 39 through 49. I'll do a quick review of the first part of his life and

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-61379366613081975122008-02-09T11:00:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.745-08:00

"Krl" kindly directed my attention to an article that came out of Psychology Today on whether we must forgive in order to be healthy and happy emotionally. I read the article in stunned amazement...happy amazement.From Must You Forgive?Adapted from "Forgiving & Not Forgiving: A New Approach to Resolving Intimate Betrayal" (Avon Books, August 1999) by Jeane Safer, Ph.D.From the political to the

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-74062596147211382502008-02-08T10:56:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.745-08:00

From Kathy Krajco's blog:Perhaps the strangest thing about narcissistic abuse is the almost universal decision of the victim to put up with it. This is something other people cannot get their minds around. And it is one reason why they withhold sympathy from the victim, blowing off severe psychological abuse and mental cruelty as mere annoyance.But there are many understandable reasons why the

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-25388221699766638342008-02-07T12:40:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.745-08:00

Because I have long been a student of human nature I have recognized the reality that we are all born very bent toward selfishness. My Christian belief system also informs this view. The Bible is clear that we are all born bent inward, toward self. Understanding that we are all born selfish has motivated me to study how to not be like the malignant narcissists.Why have I studied how not to be

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-18093086392152842022008-02-04T10:53:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.746-08:00

I want to thank you all for your great comments. As each of you tell a piece of your history and experience it expands the knowledge base of this blog. I don't respond to very many comments because time limits me, but I always wish I could. Sometimes I just want to say, "Wow, amazing". When some of you thank me for what I've written it confirms that the effort has been very worthwhile. I

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-34106450995451727882008-02-02T11:47:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.746-08:00

"Don't drive angry. Do not drive angry." Good advice from Phil to Phil in one of our family's favorite-ist movies, "Ground Hog Day". Classic. This is the film's 15th anniversary. Wooohooo.Phil: "This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather." *heavy sarcasm*Happy Groundhog Day ya'll. Six more weeks of winter according

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-5403585044023787642008-02-01T08:59:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.746-08:00

IRONY UPDATE BELOWI am linking to the guest article on Violent Acres because I resonate completely with this young woman's argument for being judgmental. I, too, am a judgmental bitch. Which is why I have been able to extricate myself from the pestilential and tyrannical narcissists in my life. I highly recommend being judgmental. In fact, I insist on you using good judgment all the time on

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1199756195655538598.post-86427732213409269322008-01-31T10:39:00.000-08:002011-11-15T19:02:45.746-08:00

Sometimes it isn't possible to avoid a narcissist. My advice has consistently been to cut off contact with narcissists because of the futility of trying to have a relationship with these debauched and predatory types with the wizened soul of a demon. Unfortunately, sometimes you can't avoid dealing with a narcissist. This is often the case when you work for one. If the narcissist is a family

xlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03648459391094573308noreply@blogger.com