How to Spot a Dangerous Man

Five psychologists are now collating the data and the news isn't good. In fact, what they are seeing and reporting is a condemnation of their profession itself, although I see no admission of that fact in the article. The largest study of its type has been conducted and the news isn't good. Using the objective tool called the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) has shown an alarming increase of narcissism in our young people since 1982 when the NPI was first introduced. Here are a few interesting quotes from the AP article: Today's college students are more narcissistic and self-centered than their predecessors, according to a comprehensive new study by five psychologists who worry that the trend could be harmful to personal relationships and American society. "We need to stop endlessly repeating 'You're special' and having children repeat that back," said the study's lead author, Professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University. "K...

A common theme among adult children of narcissists is how to cope with the grieving process once you realize the family you thought you had wasn't real; the pain of realizing that the mother or father, who you assumed loved you, never really did. The foundation of lies has crumbled and you don't know anymore what was real about your childhood and what was manufactured for effect. You find yourself grieving the dream of what you thought you had, or the dream of the happy family you hoped would someday materialize. I think we all go through a grieving process over the loss of the family we thought we had, the parents we thought we had, life as we thought we knew it. I also think everyone has to find their own way through the grieving process. Notice that we aren't grieving what we did have; we grieve for what we wished we had. We're grieving a dream...a wish...an ephemeral, gauzy fantasy that we were never able to grab onto. What has helped me the most in dealing wi...

One of the hardest positions you may find yourself in is when having to decide whether to cut off all contact with your parent or parents. It seems unnatural to live your life as if your parents are already dead. (In truth, what is unnatural is how N parents treat their children.) Society tends to disapprove of adult children walking out of a parent's life. Other family members will shame you for it. People seem to dismiss reason in this realm refusing to believe there must be an egregious crime or, more accurately a series of crimes, somewhere for an adult child to make such a drastic step. The very unnaturalness of cutting off from ones parents should be a giant red flag to others that something very wrong has been going on out of sight. The willingness of people to judge what they have not been witness to is a natural human fault. If you've tried to cut off contact from family you've already run into this reality. You're going to have to be very sure of your d...

How many times have you tried to rationalize the narcissist's behavior by convincing yourself that they really do love you if in their "own way" particularly if the narcissist is your parent? How confused are you as to what love is and isn't due to being raised by perverted-thinking narcissists? By perverted I'm using the broad definition of perversion which means to wrongly use or corrupt something . Love is an internal principle. You can't impose it from the outside. To attempt to gain love or compliance illicitly always involves the external rule of force. A narcissist wants you to prove your love for them by forcing you to bend to their rules. A forced obedience is no obedience at all, but rather it is slavery. A manipulated obedience is no obedience at all, but deception. A purchased obedience is no obedience at all, but bribery. An obedience rendered in fear of adverse consequences is no obedience at all, but self-preservation. All the above s...