How to Spot a Dangerous Man

I came across an older article by U.S. News & World Report that contains excerpts from the reporter's interview with one of the authors of the book, "The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement" and thought I'd highlight both the article and the book in a post. No, I haven't read the book as I only just found out about it, but I'm going to be buying it because it looks like a stellar treatment of the subject of narcissism from both the excerpts of this article and the reviews I've read. It appears to me that we have a couple of Ph.Ds actually applying some science to the subject and, therefore, they break away from the usual cliches about narcissism that comes from pop psychology. I agree with all seven points in this article (for the most part) and I adore the answer to #4 (a little narcissism is healthy). I have not explicitly come out against this pat phrase that continually comes out in discussions about narcissism, but I've d...

After reading this post from LoveFraud.com I'm anxious to read the recommended book, Criminal Interrogation: A Modern Format for Interrogating Criminal Suspects Based on the Intellectual Approach , by Warren D. Holmes. From LoveFraud.com : Many Lovefraud readers have expressed the desire to know how to “out” a psychopath/sociopath. In this book Mr. Holmes gives his ideas about this subject. In his Chapter “How People Lie” he discusses the neurotic liar and compares lies told by these people to psychopathic liars. He has also listed and categorized what he calls “liar statements.” These are statements that signal someone is lying. In reading his list, I found that psychopaths/sociopaths use many of these. Here are his categories of liar statements: To read the list and the rest of the article go here .

The book, " Emotional Vampires : Dealing with People Who Drain you Dry" has some very helpful information on how to recognize when a narcissist (or other disordered character) is hypnotizing you. You look for the signs in your own reactions: "Make sure you recognize the warning signs of hypnosis: instant rapport, deviating from standard procedure, thinking in superlatives, discounting objective information, and confusion." Emotional Vampires, pg. 48 These are all signs you look for in yourself . Here is a summary, mostly in my own words, of each of these warning signs. See the book for more details: Instant rapport -- That wonderful feeling that you are instantly "clicking" with someone you've just met is a clear warning sign. You have likely stumbled into someone who has either done their research before "accidentally" meeting you or before a job interview, or they are quick to assess what it is you think about yourself and are careful t...

Dr. Robert Hare tells us that psychopaths are not the good liars they are generally acclaimed as being. In his book " Without Conscience " in the chapter titled Words from an Overcoat Pocket he outlines the anomalies of the way psychopaths use language. More accurately, how they misuse language. And some really interesting reasons as to why . Please don't be distracted by my referring to Hare's work with psychopaths. The character-disordered have one thing in common: they lie. A lot. Lying is pervasive throughout all their interactions with others. As I have highlighted before , Dr. Hare has established that all psychopaths have a pervasive narcissistic personality. So, even on their best day, a malignant narcissist has much more in common with the psychopath than with the rest of us. Also, I know that some of you who read this blog are dealing with someone who is closer to the psychopath than not. I have observed before that the malignant narcissist prosti...

This may be old news to some, but I just stumbled across this Seattle PI review of this book. Just in case it might be of interest to you: Help! I’m in Love With a Narcissist by Julia Sokol and Steven Carter. The book looks like it is focused on romantic relationships with narcissists. A timely subject for our day. I haven't read this book myself, but if any of you have then please feel free to post in the comments your review of the book.

I'd like to build some on the line of thought in the last post . I made a case that the grown malignant narcissist was a difficult, devious and generally obnoxious child -- to their peers and siblings especially and primarily. The logic is that the malignant narcissist is a case of arrested development. They have never progressed on to emotional, spiritual and mental maturity. So you get a constant view of the child they were at six when watching the operation of the grown narcissist. Let's go from the thought above to this thought: The narcissist is a malicious child cloaked in an adult body. Because the malignant narcissist has always been what they are it is impossible to "rehabilitate" them. Let us look carefully at the concept of rehabilitation and what it truly means. We're going to do so with the assistance of Stanton E. Samenow, Ph.D. who has spent a whole career studying how criminals think. His observations on criminals are completely transferable ...

The website I would like to recommend is titled: Cosmicwalk - Help for victims of abusive parents and partners/Child abuse/Wife Abuse . If you are a Christian, or even if you are no longer practicing as a Christian but have a Christian background, this site can be particularly helpful to you. Christians, and those with Christian backgrounds, have extra challenges in overcoming the effects of abuse because of the way many people have distorted God's character, His law, His love. Christians have obstacles in their way when it comes to breaking free from abusers and being able to heal their minds. The author of this website has clearly wrestled with the issues unique to Christians and come out of the side where the light and healing are. Even if you are not dealing with the special challenges of Christians there is much helpful information and perspective here for you too. On a related subject, the book I would like to recommend is for those of you who are dealing with spiritual ab...

A relevant subject if you've ever dealt with a narcissist... At the end of my commentary I'll be providing a link to an interesting article on what is going on in your brain during hypnosis. Scientists have come to recognize and respect that hypnosis is something real. Real in the sense that it is possible to affect how someone may think or act by applying certain techniques. This article explains how hypnosis is about how the brain interprets sensory input...the brain is wired in such a way that it is quite easy for it to suppress outside input and create an alternate reality. A certain percentage of the population is considered "highly suggestible"...a small percentage are impervious to hypnotic technique. Children before the age of 12 are extremely vulnerable to hypnosis because of the immature wiring of the brain. How is this relevant to the topic of narcissism? I am convinced that the narcissist has learned intuitively how to hypnotize people. I am also c...

Here are a few recommendations for books that can help you deal with the narcissist(s) in your life. The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family by Eleanor Payson available at Amazon.com. Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry by Albert J. Bernstein. This book gets mixed reviews for its extensive use of the vampire metaphor. Some find it tedious, others entertaining. I am one who found it entertaining. The book has quite a bit of practical advice which is often hard to come by in books on this topic. The book seems targeted more toward those dealing with narcissists and other personality-disordered people in the workplace. The advice can apply to other contexts as well. In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People by George K. Simon. This is a must have book for anyone. We all have had to deal with manipulative people and can be assured we'll have to again. T...