How to Spot a Dangerous Man

The character is revealed by the works, not by occasional good deeds and occasional misdeeds, but by the tendency of the habitual words and acts. EG White, Signs of the Times , 1884. Some wisdom has been around for a very, very long time. What is unfortunate is how often the wisdom of ages is lost, ignored or outright rejected. Take the words above by a Christian writer written 124 years ago. How often are Christians today befuddled and kept enslaved to evil because they are told they aren't free to judge the weight of evidence provided by the deeds of someone's life? Far too often. In my post titled " Is There Good in Everyone " I used the extreme example of Hitler to illustrate how a person's character must be judged on the "tendency of the habitual words and acts"; that an occasional good deed or trait will not mitigate against the weight of evil outcomes of a person's life. In my post " The Mask of Evil " I again talk about Hitle...

I was re-reading the account of Joseph's life in Genesis several nights ago. I saw something there I had never taken note of before. I'll try, as best I can, to distill it down to the part you might find helpful. The story of Joseph is a long one. It starts in Gen. 37. It jumps over chapter 38 and continues on from chapter 39 through 49. I'll do a quick review of the first part of his life and then concentrate on what happened in chapters 42-45. As far as I'm aware, there are only two men (other than Christ, of course) in the Bible that do not have sins recorded against them in the record. Joseph and Daniel. The Scriptures don't call these men sinless, but no specific mention of a personal sin is recorded against them. The greatest patriarchs for Jews and Christians, Abraham and Moses, both had some significant personal failings. The Scriptures never shy away from presenting even the most noble of its characters as they were...real men with real sins. David, "a...

"Krl" kindly directed my attention to an article that came out of Psychology Today on whether we must forgive in order to be healthy and happy emotionally. I read the article in stunned amazement...happy amazement. From Must You Forgive? Adapted from "Forgiving & Not Forgiving: A New Approach to Resolving Intimate Betrayal" (Avon Books, August 1999) by Jeane Safer, Ph.D. From the political to the personal, Americans are caught in an orgy of forgiveness. Failure to pardon, we're constantly admonished, will blight our lives. Now a psychotherapist counters that popular claim. You can refuse to absolve your lover, spouse, parent, sibling or friend, she declares, and still be emotionally healthy. I am glad to report that this article resonates and, in some important respects, reiterates what I've written on the topic of forgiveness. I find relief in seeing some clear-eyed analysis of this subject coming from the psych community. Telling people who have been ...

Behold, the young criminal. He has finally been caught and hauled up before the law and the judge. Because he has only now been caught the court operates on the theory that this is the first time the criminal has committed this type of crime. For some reason our judicial branch began operating on the assumption that the first time a criminal gets caught for doing something against the law he is entitled to a lighter sentence, even though we know that if you punish a first time offender with a good strong measure of the law it will be more likely to dissuade him from future offenses. To quote one of the Wisdom books of the Bible: "Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil." Eccl. 8:11 The so-called first time youthful criminal is granted either a short sentence and/or probation. Then, the court decides to go one better and expunges the record of the crime. The young criminal turn...

If you've withheld forgiveness from the narcissists in your life then I am sure you have experienced some particular accusations. These come from the narcissist and their sympathizers. They accuse you of "refusing to forget the past", "holding a grudge", "being resentful", "not letting go". One of my and my family's favs is "a heart full of hate". We erupt in gales of laughter when we conjure up that particular memory of my father's accusation in defense of my mother. Narcissists have a very limited range of emotions. While being able to fake having a wider range of emotions, they really operate on an emotional level of an animal with the two primary motivating emotions of fear and anger (jealousy is a close third, but is really a combination of the other two). This is one reason they impute one of these two emotions to you when you are not behaving properly. They project their own emotional state or reactions to you...

The standard panacea unhelpfully offered to those who are struggling with abuse past and present is "forgiveness". It is always assumed that you must "forgive" and all will be healed in your torn up soul. Your emotional wounds will finally close and you'll even be able to invite your abuser over for Christmas dinner next December. I'm going to make a categoric statement and then attempt to fill out some of my reasoning on the subject. Emotional health and healing does not reside in your being able to forgive the perp. So just forget about "forgiveness" and follow what I have to say. Test it against your logic and experience and see if I have a point. Yeah, I know, that seems to go against all conventional wisdom. Christian or secular sources seem to beat the same drum..."you have to forgive in order to be able to move on". Bull. Shit. Conventional wisdom is rarely wise, so let's think this one through without the socie...