How to Spot a Dangerous Man

A universal trait of malignant narcissists and every other version of evil person is their need to control you. Not themselves. You. This trait of the evil is so universal that you must put it in the red flag category. It is quite possible to not be a malignant narcissist and still find yourself trying to control other people. If you recognize that you can be controlling then it is time to rein yourself in. I would recommend other people to see it as a red flag in your behavior too regardless of the fact that you don't demonstrate yourself to be a malignant narcissist. Trying to control other autonomous human beings is weakness not strength. It always lends itself toward evil outcomes. It is morally wrong. In contrast with the evil who try to control everyone (and everything) in their sphere is that of the person with self-control. When you observe how someone interacts with you do you see them exerting consistent self-control in their own lives? Or are they mostly focused on co...

Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous [overwhelming]; but who is able to stand before envy? Prov. 27:4 And then, of course, we get to the heart of malignant narcissism, Narcissistic Envy. "What Makes Narcissists Tick" by Kathy Krajco, pg. 46 in e-book. Their lack of gratitude is the natural result of their extreme covetousness ... All the other sins of the narcissist spring from this persistent and pervasive covetousness. Thanksgiving -- The Holiday Narcissists Will Never 'Get'" The envy of the narcissist is pathological because it is all-consuming and destructive. It is the fouled spring from whence her abuses flow outward into your life. Any good thing you have...be it material, or your accomplishments, your worthy and noble character traits, or attention in any form...must be sullied and/or stolen in order to tamp down the monstrous upwelling of envy in the narcissist's heart. Kathy summed it up correctly when stating that the heart of malignant n...

A question was posed to me in the comments on the last post that I'll do my best to answer in this blog post. I was wondering Anna, if you could possibly discuss how you have moved on in respect to the effects of Narcissism. How do you find yourself relating to other people's bad behaviour , even if it isn't based in Narcissism? I am only asking because four years on from leaving a religious group run by a narcissist, and fifteen months on from cutting off my mother and sisters, I seem to be battling more than ever with issues relating to dealing with other people. I find I have absolutely no tolerance for BS from others, especially those professing to be christians, who then treat me with disrespect. Then, I feel guilty that I haven't given them a second chance . I have spent hours trying to explain that putting up with offensive behaviour from others isn't 'love', its passive-aggression (in a lot of cases). I just get these zombified looks, and I feel like...

I am convinced that part of becoming maturely healthy in heart and mind is learning to be copacetic with being alone. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. The two are not necessarily the same. Let me wax wordy to try to make this point. I'll likely end up making other points along the way, and with some luck I might even make some good ones. Does this post mean I've come out of hiatus? Unclear. Stay tuned. It was the comments of a reader on an old post that spurred this one...who knows when the next spate of wordiness will strike. Creativity can't be scheduled. Ack. I flatter myself. It is in solitude that we are better able to take a good hard look at ourselves. It also makes a better environment for us to learn to stretch ourselves and grow in ways we haven't yet. Being alone can be used by you as a preparation time for learning to be the kind of person a healthy person would want to be with. Too often we fall back into what is famil...