How to Spot a Dangerous Man

I decided this week I have found a new tag line for my blog. It captures the essence of what I'm doing here: "It is much easier to make good men wise than to make bad men good." This quote is pulled from Henry Fielding's book, "Tom Jones" first published in 1749. With a little thought I'm sure you can see why this quote fits my blog's effort. I don't advocate here that we spend our time, energy or resources on trying to make narcissists good. There is far too great a weight of evidence that it would be wasted effort on the narcissist. All my effort here is expended on making you, the reader, wise. So I apply my energy to that activity which has much better chance at success: helping good people to become wise people. I would be an abysmal failure if I channeled my efforts at trying to make "bad men good". Narcissists definitely fall into the category of "bad". There are enough apologists out there for the narcissist....

A universal trait of malignant narcissists and every other version of evil person is their need to control you. Not themselves. You. This trait of the evil is so universal that you must put it in the red flag category. It is quite possible to not be a malignant narcissist and still find yourself trying to control other people. If you recognize that you can be controlling then it is time to rein yourself in. I would recommend other people to see it as a red flag in your behavior too regardless of the fact that you don't demonstrate yourself to be a malignant narcissist. Trying to control other autonomous human beings is weakness not strength. It always lends itself toward evil outcomes. It is morally wrong. In contrast with the evil who try to control everyone (and everything) in their sphere is that of the person with self-control. When you observe how someone interacts with you do you see them exerting consistent self-control in their own lives? Or are they mostly focused on co...

This question was somewhat addressed by me in my post, They DO Have Empathy...Just Not for You . I mentioned that the narcissist has oodles and bunches of compassion (empathy) but only enough for themselves. You don't get any. The "Do They Have Feelings?" question is answered in the same way: Yes, they do, but only for themselves. In my experience with narcissists (which includes a larger circle than just my mother and sister for you folks who think I extrapolate off of only those two) the more narcissistic a person is the easier it is to hurt their feelings . They have the tenderest little feelings. Boo, f8&king, hoo. They can be the biggest ass about your feelings, but watch the tears (or rage) start when you accidentally bump into one of theirs! I feel the need to ask (and answer) this question even though it appears to be the same question as to whether or not the narcissist has empathy. They are essentially the same question, but not everyone realizes that fact...

As many of you likely know, Kathy Krajco compiled an excellent list of the "red flags of narcissism" in her book, "What Makes Narcissists Tick". I find myself wanting to reprint her list with the descriptions because they are so valuable for people trying to assess the level of malignancy of the person they're having to deal with. Perhaps I'll do that over time. What I'll do today, though, is highlight what Kathy called the "reddest flag". Before I get to that. I've been on a true crime jag over the last six weeks (one book tends to lead to another). I started in on reading after the last national election. Not being at all confident in all the hope changiness being promised I'm checking out. I find true crime a much more cheerful topic right now than politics. I've now read several volumes of true crime since the week before Thanksgiving. The latest I read was a story about a man who exhibited every single trait of malignant narcis...

Yes, I'm going to give you a gift. It is called LibriVox. I stumbled on this site a couple of months ago and have already derived many, many hours of pleasure from it. It is a site that is making available to audio all the books in the public domain. It is a volunteer effort. If you enjoy having books read to you via your Mp3 player then run to their catalog and download one! Not all the readers are equally gifted, but it is still a great service. I am especially fond of Karen Savage as a reader. She does Pride and Prejudice and the first three of the Anne of Green Gables books. If you see Karen's name you're in for a great reading! I listened to the entirety of The Count of Monte Cristo (117 chapters and 50 hours of audio). I had a hard time with some of the accents of several of the readers intermittently for the first couple dozen chapters but things smoothed out after that. I love LibriVox and am spreading the love to you. LibriVox