How to Spot a Dangerous Man

The last on Kathy Krajco's list of eight red flags of narcissism is: Hostile Reaction to Attention or Credit Given Others And then, of course, we get to the heart of malignant narcissism, Narcissistic Envy. You will notice that, invariably, when anyone is given recognition before the group, a narcissist immediately starts showing dislike for, or animosity toward, that person. Immediately he sets out on a campaign of character assassination. Envy is bitter, an extremely unpleasant emotion. It's normal only when some other party really has robbed us of our due. A narcissist's unnatural envy is so universal and so strong that he cannot even stand being in a place where someone else gets attention. If he cannot keep that from happening, he will find some way to absent himself from the situation -- if only by turning away from others and staring at a corner of the ceiling. What Makes Narcissists Tick , pg. 84 *********************** I elaborated on the centrality of envy in...

When it doesn't perplex you, or annoy the hell out of you, or make you cry, this next red flag provides some of the humor when dealing with narcissists. I'm talking here about the humor that makes you laugh at someone who is being ridiculous and stupid and is blissfully unaware of it. Extreme self-absorption is another red flag. Unless a narcissist is a "doting" narcissist who keeps a "star" child he's exploiting under a microscope, just ask him about his family. You will be astounded at what he doesn't know about them. That's the dead giveaway. To test a person, write a basic character description of each member of his immediate family. Note things like whether this person is religious, excitable, highly motivated -- that's all, just basic stuff that anyone who sees them regularly should know about them. If you ask a narcissist to match each character description with the family member it belongs to, he will gape at you as though you j...

We're up to number six of Kathy Krajco's list of eight red flags of narcissism from her book, What Makes Narcissists Tick, pg. 81: Tramples Privacy/Boundaries as a Control-Freak Yet another red flag is a universal disrespect for other people's privacy, boundaries. This is a result of the narcissist viewing people as mere objects there for her sake to serve her needs and desires. I gave an example in the previous section, in the boyfriend who disrespects your right to decide how to wear your hair. It's your body, not his. You're the one who lives with the consequences of the decision, not him. You aren't his car, something he owns and therefore can paint a different color if he wishes. You own you. But he is treating your body as HIS property by presuming the rights of its owner over it. Here's another, more literal, example. Your property line affects him like waving a red flag affects a bull. He must violate it and make what's your territory hi...

Personality Disorders: The Controllers, Abusers, Manipulators, and Users in Relationships By Dr Joseph M Carver, PhD. I just finished reading this three part article and wanted to recommend it to you all. It is an excellent synopsis of personality disorders followed by descriptions of how each of these PD types behave relationally. The article contains some good practical advice as well. I am impressed by the author's firm grasp of the reality that victims are not to blame for the behavior of the personality disordered . Read it and find validation and balm for your soul.