I'm going to briefly summarize another way a narcissist....or "narcissistically defended" person....avoids showing gratitude. Being able to recognize what is happening will allow you to stop contributing to the negative dynamic in your relationship with the narcissist.

The next anomaly is that of "reversing roles".
This tendency to respond to a solicitous inquiry with "Okay" or "Sure" or the posture of equivalent solicitude typifies a narcissistically protective interaction. The assumed position is, "You're the one with the needs here, not me; but I'm such a good person I'll humor you." Denial of Remorse & Gratitude
These people are so god-like in their own minds that the act of asking a favor, or even accepting an offered favor, is considered to be an act of humiliation, so they twist things around so that your offering a favor is actually them granting you a favor. Doesn't get more upside down than that. Upside down is pretty much the description of life with a narcissist. Black is white. Right is wrong. In is out. This is yet another manifestation of the upside-down dealings of the narcissist in everyday life.

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