Two More Ways to Avoid Thanking Someone Sincerely

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Another situation where thanks are the usual way to respond is when a compliment is given. The narcissist will often have a problem receiving the compliment with the normal response of "thank you". Enter here the next manifestation of the inability to thank: protestation.

They commonly counterpoise a compliment with a protestation that they do not deserve it. Or they may dismiss a genuine accolade as insincere flattery, or even appear annoyed that the complimenter appears to think they would appreciate an admiring remark...

The narcissistically motivated person doesn't even need your compliments....except, the truth is, they do need them. They simply can't let you know that fact, and they are trying to not know that fact themselves.

Then there is the "Converse Manifestations" where you throw everything described previously out because the narcissist may choose to deflect thanks in an opposite sense: by over-thanking.

As in all things psychodynamic, the opposite behavior may indicate a problem in accepting dependency or vulnerability. Some people compulsively over thank, or over apologize, in a manner that suggests as much underlying discomfort with the inner state of indebtedness to others as we are postulating in those who resist thanking and apologizing. Denial of Remorse & Gratitude
I like that the author of this article tells the reader to pay attention to their inner state of discomfort in this situation as it is a signal to you that something is wrong. When someone over-thanks or over-apologizes to the point that you start feeling squirmy then trust that your instincts are onto a screwy dynamic. This person hates feeling indebted to you. Deal accordingly.

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