When Listening A Lot Makes "Conversation"

-

I just stumbled across this article whose title I'm absolutely in love with:

"How to Talk to a Narcissist...When Listening A Lot Makes "Conversation"

This told me straight up that whatever followed was likely to be on target because the title of the article so nails an essential truth about dealing with narcissists. It makes me laugh. I have all kinds of mental pictures immediately flashing in my head where I see myself listening for hours and hours and hours to the narcissists I've had in my life. I've probably lost entire years of my life listening to narcissists. I started being called a "good listener" by people since I hit junior high school age. I was well-trained by my narcissist mother. You would have had to search a very long time to find a more patient listener than me. I'm not that patient anymore, but I am still a good listener. As in, I hear what is actually being said and catch on very quickly to who I'm dealing with. Sticking around to talk with a narcissist isn't one of my strong points anymore. I'm proud to say.

Anyway, I'll post a link to this article because there are circumstances which require some people to need to keep a narcissist in their life. This means you need to know how to keep the narcissist satisfied, calm and cooperative. I think this article is helpful to that end.

Of course, I am always advising here that you keep the narcissists out of your life insofar as that is possible to achieve. When it isn't possible then you need to prepare yourself for getting what little gain there is in keeping a narcissist around. A brief quote will also show how this author 'gets' narcissists:

Here are some rules that will make things easier for you to interact with a narcissist. (The aim at this point is not to provide comfortable guidelines. Interacting with a narcissist may not be comfortable, but it doesn't always have to be a total loss.)
"How to Talk to a Narcissist..." by William Snow

Yeah, no kidding. There is no comfortable or even completely safe way to interact with a narcissist. But you might find some helpful hints in this article if you absolutely must deal with one. Good luck with that.

Icon credit

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Narcissist and Self-Loathing

-
Image
In the comments section of the post on self-esteem vs. self-respect I made this statement, I have been witness to both. I have seen what were obviously real periods of self-loathing by Ns. I have also seen the theatrical versions. The "feel" of the fake version is quite different to the observant witness. I was asked to explain the difference between the faked self-loathing and the real demonstrations. I will try. First, it is important to not mistake a malignant narcissist's self-loathing as being connected with remorse. Do they have regrets? Oh, yes. But not for your sake. Only for their own sake. They only regret not getting what they think they deserve. Sam Vaknin, the most verbose of narcissists, contends that narcissists are, "immersed in self-loathing and self-pity. He is under duress and distress most of his waking life." Ref . Cry me a frakking river. Life is tough when you're always on the run from reality. If you read Vaknin
Read more

To the Narcissist "There is No Good and Evil"

-
"There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it..." Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone . Those words are coming from the character whose mind is controlled by the evil character Lord Voldemort in the popular children's book referenced above. The above words are the succinct description of the narcissist's rationale. Sorry to cite J.K. Rowling, but she has captured in few words the essence of how evil does away with the whole idea of evil. I have stated before how narcissists don't see themselves or their deeds as evil. They have constructed a view of reality which enables them to operate as they please while avoiding such sticky labels as "evil". It is important to understand how evil people skirt the whole issue of evil by reducing every human interaction to power...those who are strong enough to take it and those who are too weak to take it. This philosophy is often called the "law of the jungle" an
Read more

The Malignant Narcissist

-
or....that word "malignant" is just another word for evil If someone knows the difference between right and wrong but persistently chooses to do wrong, to cause harm, to injure, to kill (the body or soul), we can safely assign to that person the term evil . Because this is my blog, I'll elaborate. The concept of evil has been around as long as humanity has. You may choose to believe it doesn't exist, but you would have to be either 1) a uniquely oblivious person or 2) evil yourself. (A convenient dodge for evil people is to do away with the term and they suddenly are free of exposure.) For the rest of you who are able to conceive that evil does exist, let's look at the concept as it relates to the malignant narcissist. Among the various definitions of evil we find this one: adj. : having or exerting a malignant influence All the definitions of evil apply to the malignant narcissist, but let us focus on this one. Let's look at the word "malignant"
Read more